White coat. Heels.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize