1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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