Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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