Pregnant stripper...not hot.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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