Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have fence marks all over my body
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
