Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
