Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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