very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
