My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
