Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
