i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize