we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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