I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
