Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize