he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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