omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
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