where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
