her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
