I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
