She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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