giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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