Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
