went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
