Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
