So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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