I didn't shave. On purpose
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
