I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
