I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
