I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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