to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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