i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
