Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
