Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize