So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
