she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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