It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
