He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I will pee on everything he values.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
