so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
