she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
