we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This baby is an asshole
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
