i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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