More tranny stories later!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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