I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
