You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
