Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
