Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
