There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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