Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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