The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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