I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
