my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
