Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
