You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
