I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
