Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
