this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
