it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
