Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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