Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
