If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
