Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
