Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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