She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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