my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
lets start a swedish sibling band together
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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