so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
