wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
