Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You can't just leave with hair like that
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
