I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
