i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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