I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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