i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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