How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize