beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
