No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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