Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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